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Meditations in my Childhood Bedroom
Legs crossed, shoulders tense with the desperation to focus
Eyes pressed shut, eager to visualize away how unfamiliar familiar feels
Body floating, slightly unbalanced to the left by a visit that feels far too long
Feel your lungs expand with each breath
Focus on deep breaths, not the oxygen racing to your brain to notice, really notice the difference between reality and memories
Bring your awareness to the weight of the body, your feet pressed against the strange softness of suffocating comfort
Relax, let the mind go
Allow your thoughts to pass by like clouds floating in the sky, that disturbingly perfect bubbly blue sky you left years ago
Let the peaceful sensation of relaxation fill you, allowing the warmth of the sad in-betweenness of childhood and adulthood to sink in
Notice any aches, pains, tensions, or general discomfort. Bring awareness to every single one, but not the deep-rooted ones about being uprooted
When you notice your mind wandering, bring your attention back to the breath — not to the guilt of not doing more, being…
