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Have you turned into a succulent?
Note: This started out as a poem about resilience and turned into a satire. I’ll write that poem next.
1. You can tolerate dry, indoor conditions.
Maybe now you’ve become accustomed to indoors, having spent the many past weeks mostly inside. Bonus points if you are in California or any other dry climate. Unlike other plants, you can tolerate these new conditions and circumstances.
2. You are more low maintenance now.
Before, you might have needed a lot of attention. But now you’re not like most houseplants. You can tolerate limited watering. You are easy to care for, now that you have more time to focus on what’s important. More than that, if you get too much interaction or watering, you can wither and feel drained quickly. You don’t know jeans, concerts, or networking events anymore.
3. You are saving more money than before.
You tend to go through “rest periods,” which means you don’t need as much expensive food (read: fertilizer) as other plants. Hope you’re cooking more and not drinking unnecessary coffee; water’s all you need. Also, you are really saving on those…
